I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I’m grumpy, tired, impatient. I don’t want to work, read, listen to music or do any of my morning rituals.
This is one of two things – I’m either in the goo or I’m on a low point of my cyclical emotional wave – neither is bad, nothing here to be fixed or solved.
Just to be felt – ha, didn’t I just say yesterday to let it hurt, let it heal, and only then should I let it go?
A bit prescient of me…..
A year ago I was in Bali waiting for my husband to arrive. It would be our first vacation in 16 years (I don’t count long weekends away). I was just coming off of the most transformative experience since I started this awakening journey.
I was in Bali for 23 days – I spent the first week falling in love with myself and the rest of my trip falling deeper in love with who Barry and I are together.
I left the U.S. before COVID was first reported in Washington State. I arrived home to a world in lockdown. I left Bali one day before all routes out of Bali closed and arrived home one day before the shelter in place order took effect for Ohio.
To say the past year has been a roller coaster ride and a shit show would be an understatement but I have rediscovered so much beauty in everyday moments.
Reading a good book while the sun warms my back thru the front windows. Cooking a meal from scratch and savoring every bite. Turning up the music so loud the pans rattle and dancing hard until I can barely breathe Sitting for hours on my thinking rock – mind blank – just marveling over the wind on my skin Dancing naked in a warm rain (my personal favorite)
I am so grateful to just be here when we’ve lost so many. My moods are my moods and since feelings aren’t facts they can’t take away the beauty and the pain of this COVID reality.
“Dancing in the rain” by Andre Kohn